4 Steps to better networking.

I realized recently that I am very good at networking with anyone I want to. I have had this natural ability for most of my life. I remember even as far back as high school, if there was a person I wanted to be friends with I would figure it out. I was the freshman who hung out with seniors. This networking ability has helped me over and over in my life. I think that it was developed early because I moved around so much. I don’t know what it is like to live in the same place for more than about 4-5 years.

“Your network is your net worth” – Porter Gale

In this article it is important that everything is to be done in a genuine matter otherwise it’s gross. I sat down with a friend who was struggling with this and from our conversation I realized that I had a system for networking with anyone. These are not fool proof and can be kind of awkward at first but the more I do it the more natural it comes. I remember from when I was in business school they told us that workers with the least amount of friendships are the least likely to get promoted. I couldn’t find the source for this though. 

1. Always give more than you take.

I have touched on this one often in my articles but giving with zero intentions of anything in return is also a great networking tool. I have always enjoyed finding ways I can help people or connect them to others. This is something that I do naturally. Like I will share articles or things I know the person will enjoy or benefit from. I believe that if I can create happiness in my network it creates a culture of happiness. I will note one more time this must be done in a genuine way and without expectations. I personally feel really good when I am helping out others, and have found a lot of things do come back to me in ways I never expected. Like creating spaces that I want to go, creates spaces that others want to go to. This is my intention with my open mic and a big part of why so many people enjoyed it.

2. Compliments.

People love getting compliments. An important element to this is they need to be platonic compliments. It's not about hitting on the person or making it sexual at all. I search for something that I genuinely like about a person or recognize something they clearly put effort into showing. Like if they are wearing a hat I like or a cool pair of sneakers. I am a bit of a sneakerhead myself so I do notice what a person is wearing on their feet. This is a great way to start a genuine conversation and find a common bond (which is the next step). Finding something you genuinely like is important because people who are inclined to me if I am inclined to like them. I actually have to like the person to network with them. If I don’t like a person, I usually try to find something I like about them, if I cannot I do not force a connection.

3. Find common Bonds.

Whenever I meet someone I start searching for common bonds. I look at the way they are dressed, not in judgement but as a way to figure out what they like. Most people will project their interests in subtle or not so subtle ways. The way someone dresses can tell me a lot about them and how I will tailor my approach to them. So I will look at what they have on their feet, if they have worn out skate shoes I know they probably skateboard, if they have some fresh Jordan Concord 11’s I know they have terrible taste in sneakers. For example; I love to wear my Mario brothers hat. This is a great conversation starter and I get a lot of strangers talking to me about video games. I am a bit of a gamer myself and I love chatting about video games, even ones I don’t personally play. A great way to keep this going is to let them teach me about something they are passionate about. I do this by asking questions and genuinely listening to the answers. People love to talk about themselves and sharing things about themselves. I learned this from my step dad. He would have people talk to him all night, they would feel so close to him so quickly but they didn’t really know much about him. They spent all the time talking about themselves. Another way to find common bonds is to complain about something together. Like I made a bunch of friends on this spirit flight that got delayed and then canceled. I met about 10 of the other passengers while we waited in line for hours complaining about the flight. We ended up all going to the same hotel and it was fun because we went bowling and to the pool. We became fast friends having the common bond of our canceled flight. I would be careful of this one, I personally try not to use this one much. It can quickly turn to just gossip friends, which can be fun but I really try to avoid that sort of thing in my life.

4. Follow up!

I think I learned this one from my mom. She would require me to send thank you notes all the time. There was even a part of my life where I kept a stack of thank you notes in my truck glove box because I was crashing at peoples houses or camping in my truck. This little act of thank you notes elevates me and allowed me to be welcome to come back. I know that having a guest is not always fun, and can be left feeling used. I am not saying you need to send physical thank you notes. But I always follow up with people that I meet usually via text or email. I believe this elevates you in their mind and makes me feel validated when people follow up with me. With how easy it is now to just send a quick follow up message there is no reason not to. I have always been someone who will thank a host or booker for having me on the show the next day. I believe this goes a long way and has led to being booked again. It’s something I have always done, it wasn’t until later that I realized not everyone did that. I know as a booker of my small shows I am much more likely to book someone again who follows up. A big part of booking is remembering people, follow ups are a great way of being top of mind.

I am sure there are more ways people network, but these are the ones that I employ and have worked for me over the years. I also just enjoy doing all of them. They make me feel good and create more happiness in my network. At the end of the day beyond the benefits I want people to be happy to see me. Success is not an island, we are a product of the people around us. Create a happy network and life will just be better.

If you liked this article subscribe to my email list below and share it with someone who would appreciate it.

Thank you for reading, You’re doing great.

Bjorn RG.