Be here at 65mph.

Wow, this has been a lot harder to write something new every week than I ever expected. I know that it’s the times that I push when I am not feeling it that the good stuff comes out. But seriously this is hard. Maybe I just have to write about what I am thinking about and because I am not really doing much in the way of standup comedy I am not really feeling like or thinking about comedy all the time anymore. It is a lot harder to write the further away I get from it. So I guess I will just write about what I am currently going through. What happened to me today? This week I am changing my approach to skateboarding and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone with my motorcycle.  

“Be where you are, otherwise you will miss your life.” -Buddha

Today I took my motorcycle on the freeway for the first time. I can say that I was very scared. I could even go as far to say that I was terrified. I mean I was really having to focus on my breath to make it through. It’s one of those things that I have not experienced yet much on the motorcycle. But I got on the freeway right before a major bridge into Washington. It’s a lot of lanes and a lot of speed. I don’t know if I was in the correct headspace to do it, but I did it. I was really scared. I was really far outside of my comfort zone. I have not been that scared in a while, I think that it is good for me to do that from time to time. I think back to the first time I went 45 on my bike,  I was scared and now 45 is no problem. My hope is that the next time will be a bit less scary and the next will be less as well. I did notice that after that experience just driving around town has become a breeze and it's actually really enjoyable.  I think that for now I am just going to stick to my back highways and roads and less of the freeway stuff for a while. It is moments like the one I experienced that I really am reminded where I am at in my progression. Yes, I was very scared but I did it. I am very proud of myself. I survived. I have been taking this very slow approach to learning how to ride. I am also beginning to try it in different aspects of my life. You know what I wasn’t doing when I was driving 65 on a windy bridge? Thinking about anything but the present moment. I just focused on my breathing and my attention to the road and cars around me in that present moment. I wasn’t thinking about politics or my career, despite the truck with trump flags waving that just cut me off.  

I grew up skateboarding basically every day over the summer. Now I do it once a week at most. I recently realized that it serves a different purpose for me now than it did before. I have recently realized that the progression is actually declining in my thirties. Skating in my thirties is so different than skating in my 20’s.  In my 20’s it was just what I did with my friends. It was a way of passing the time and staying in shape. It gave us an identity and something to work at. It is a wonderful infinite game to keep your mind busy. I loved it. I was obsessed with it. I thought about it all the time. Now I do not think about it as much. I realized that I am not practicing as much as I was before. Yet I had this expectation that I would be able to perform at the same level or even be progressing from that level still. This has been a lot of rude awakenings. So this week I took a different approach. Previously I would show up to the park with no plan, just to skate. Usually there were the tricks I would do to warm up, then I would begin working on the new tricks I wanted to learn. Now when I show up I am lucky if I can still do my warm up tricks. Yet my mind has that high expectation. It's like I am coming into a tv show I used to watch 10 years ago and I just expect to have any idea what is going on now. So my new approach is to have a set quantity goal for a specific trick that I am working on. Right now this week the trick I am working on is a backside air. I learned the steps involved in it and now I just go to the park and try it 10 times. Then I am done, and I usually leave.

This has been a game changer for me. It really works for me. I spend a lot less time at the park, I am also much less frustrated. My only task is trying it 10 times then leaving. It gives me some structure as well as an end point. I realize that I was just showing up for an unspecified time and didn’t have a plan. This works when you are first learning or if it’s something you do every day. When I was a kid, I was just filling my time at the skatepark. As an adult I have many other things going on and I can’t spend that random 5 hours at a skatepark every day. So far, I have seen improvement in the trick, it's mostly just been getting more comfortable and back into shape.

Meditation is something that I do every morning. I started as a way to help with my anxiety that I had. After I had a few panic attacks I knew I needed to make a change. I made several changes and I have stuck with this one. For me it’s helpful to use an app for guided meditation. I have recently gone back and started over with the beginner guided meditations again. There has been this question that they ask at the beginning that for the first time I have been unable to fully answer. The question being: what is your motivation for doing this daily practice of meditation? I have been doing the daily morning meditation now for about 5 years. I have no idea why specifically I am doing it anymore. I know that for me I have become a lot more patient with myself and others. I have this ability to just sit and be present in a way I was not able to do before. I think something that I have learned from my daily meditation practice is to value my habits. Before I did this, I would only do things for a specific outcome and then once I had that desired outcome I would stop. But the value of just a daily practice like this takes even 10 minutes to focus on my breath. I have noticed a huge improvement in my frustration. Or I am so much less frustrated with things. Like I am by no means “good” at meditation but that doesn’t matter. And the fact that I still practice it and try every day to focus on my breath for 10 minutes. I have begun to think less of things in this win lose or pass-fail mentality. Just to practice being present and appreciating what is happening now. I think I am going to approach these articles in a similar fashion. For me it’s about just writing them and getting these thoughts out there. I am less concerned with the format or following a format, for me it’s about just doing them. Just like my daily meditation practice, I am going to continue without a strong why and I am excited to see what secret benefits emerge.

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Thank you for reading, You’re doing great. 

Bjorn RG.