Identity Crisis

If I want to change anything about myself the first is to figure out what my personal identity is around it. I must first understand how I identify around it. If I adjust my identity around it I can change anything about myself. Once I began applying this to my standup I was able to progress much faster.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw.

I have been astonished at the ways I have been able to change my life using this identity model. Whenever there is something I want to change I just write down my current belief about myself. Then I adjust it to the desired behavior or new belief. I change the story I am telling myself about, well, myself. When I change the story I am telling myself, I am able to make the change on a deep level. The more I repeat it, the more real it gets for me.

For example about 5 years ago I decided I wanted to start working out. I had no idea how or what I was doing. I signed up for a gym membership and went with a friend. He explained everything, ok he explained some things to me.  I had never been a guy who went to the gym. I grew up skateboarding in the early 2000’s and it was not cool to go to the gym. I wasn’t a jock! At that time it was deep in the skater culture that you were lame if you were a jock and you were a jock if you went to the gym. That was the belief I was still holding onto for some reason. Before I let go of that or even realized that going to the gym was like pulling my own teeth out. I resisted it. I also went way too hard way too quickly and it was not a fun experience for me. It wasn’t until I adjusted to the new identity that “I am a guy who goes to the gym” that I was able to start to go on a regular basis.

I have been able to build a regular writing habit using the same method. So I started telling myself that I am someone who writes every day. I shifted from saying to myself and others “I can't write every day because _____,” to owning that I write something every day. By practicing this new way of speaking I began to write more. I believe that our subconscious wants to be in line with our conscious mind’s identity. Then the more I did it the deeper the new identity became for me. It became real. It's kind of a new way of faking it till you make it.

It’s a powerful tool. I work to create better habits this way. I think that if I am making a conscious effort to design better ways of thinking about myself, I can improve at things in significant ways. The way I use it now is to create a growth mindset. I practice this as often as possible. I want to be someone who has a growth mindset. This has helped me take feedback about whatever in my life. If I approach it with a growth mindset or how can I grow from this? I am a person who grows from experiences. I can transcend who I was yesterday. I can become better than I was before, and at the end of the day that is what I want. I want to be better than I was yesterday. I am the kind of person who learns from every experience.

“Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you” -Byron Katie.

 If you liked this article please subscribe to my weekly blog and please share it with someone who would appreciate it! 

Thank you for reading, You’re doing great. 

Bjorn RG.